So my friend once said those who drink beer live less…
less stressed, less anxious, less worried, and less whatnot. 😉 I was not sure whether beers worked that way, never had the ‘privilege’ to study these addictive ‘juices.’
But we shall discuss a recipe that I can guarantee will relieve your stress, enhance your productivity, and make your focus shoot like bazookas on Hitler’s bunkers. No, No! I’m not talking about opium. Let’s keep that to kids. Legends enjoy hemp beer! Legends like me… and of course, you! :p
Just when I thought hemp had given us everything, hemp beer happened.
I’ve had enough hemp recipes in my life, and I’m sure my previous recipes have helped you with some real cooking-deal. Haven’t they? But just when I thought recipes had hit the limitations, the bloody-new herb recipe surfaced. Honestly, weed is the most versatile thing I’ve worked with. Yeah, yeah! More than sugar and salt!
It goes excellent with confectionaries, sits beautifully with veggies, and is a wonderful plus on baked infused items too! Think what may, weed is a one-pot-fit-all herb, so to speak.
This time, I was strolling around my bar beer collection when my eyes and senses fumbled, thinking something was missing, something very exclusive that complemented the place’s dynamics. And that hit me hard. Like real hard. Never did I feel so incomplete.
So I decided to take matters into my hands, quite literally. To try and cook like Walter White. Yes, yes, our very own dashing and rational genius from the show Breaking Bad, Heisenberg. So I tried to make a rich dark-soiled-tasting weed beer for changing the air of my overly-excessive sweet bar. And guess what? It worked. It worked like magic!
But I’m bad at keeping kitchen secrets. So I’ll share the hemp beer recipe.
Now that I’ve plotted intriguing suspense, you might be wanting to know more about the recipe. Fret not! I’m pretty bad at keeping kitchen secrets.
Initially, I thought, why should I release it when I can launch hemp beer and sprawl over green bills? But the thought wasn’t satisfactory and sounded quite mean. But ultimately, you see… here I’m, sharing the weed beer recipe from my kitchen to yours.
Beer + hemp = set yourself straight in no time.
Hemp has two components, cbd, and thc. For this recipe, we’ll use thc for a mellow high. What? thc? Are you freaking kidding me? Isn’t it illegal? Well, sure it’s in many parts of the States, but we’d use it anyway! *I hope you belong to the legal state.*
We’re anyway infusing a little amount of thc to elicit our brains. No one’s going to catch you until you put it on Snapchat. *Yeah, a man was caught abusing because he uploaded his drug-rituals on the platform.*
Before we start making the recipe, please note that keeping content as instructed is very vital. Beer and hemp together can give you the high of life. But if you don’t take them in proportion: you might wake up dizzy. ← This eventually kills the purpose of having hemp beer. Right? Unless you’re a glutton, and this is just another day at the office for you.
We’ll start the hemp beer recipe with an un-sexy way of decarboxylation.
So you’ve decided to cook your very own beer. Congratulations, you’ve something to boast after your graduation degrees. But the road is difficult, that’s how love-paths are meant to be. Aren’t they? Afterall, hemp beer is no less than the dashing love of our lives.
Why do I say this? Because assuming raw hemp stalk will do the trick is the gravest mistake you’ll do with your recipe. The beer will misfire; the expectations will crash worse than the deceased mh-370 flight.
Because using raw weed is as good as using nothing. These stalks are dull and boring when you don’t decarboxylate them. They can’t behave as you’ll like them to behave, something you experience when you smoke till the cows come home.
Decarboxylate. I know it’s an un-sexy name. It seems like a hunger-stricken neologist had nothing to eat, so he ate a raw weed stalk and got his eureka moment! “Raw weed is useless, I discovered it, I discovered it.”
So where were we? Yeah, decarboxylation is an un-sexy way of making our hemp stalks functional. We heat the strain and activate it. Simple? Yes, heating the strain makes the dead stalk alive as if it’s ready to respond in your brain. But why do I feel the hit when I pull the joint? I… I… never decarb…whatever! Yet, I felt it.
Well, you won’t believe it, but you’ve. You’ve always decarboxylated your joint. Just that you didn’t have to do anything extra. Tossing the joint, lighting it up, and pulling did the thing. You heated it every time you pulled the lighter of your pocket and burned it up ruthlessly.
Ok, ok! I trust you. Don’t need any history lessons now. How to do it? Come straight to the point!
Great. So here’s how you’ll decarboxylate marijuana strain before plugging them into the beer recipe.
- Grind the effing stalk. Some buds, I tell you… they’re too adamant as they don’t like getting minced. But you have to do it, regardless of whether they go full-emotional. Grind her like never before. For better results, use a hand grinder.
- Place parchment paper on the tray. These weeds can get sticky in nature when you heat them. Placing them directly on the tray might create an inseparable bond between the weed and the tray. Result? Loss of the herb. So place a parchment paper to prevent this unwanted bonding.
- Spread the minced weed: Spread her on the tray. Make sure you’re doing it evenly from all the corners. I mean… spread it evenly so that you expose every point while burning her down.
- Heat the darling. So our minced baby is ready to be heated. Put her in the oven and set the temperature around 245 degrees Fahrenheit. Heat her till she chokes. No kidding! Heat her till she looks evenly burnt. Usually, 40-45 minutes shall do. But 3 hours isn’t bad, either.
So, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve pulled the most boring part of the recipe. Kudos to your patience. Pat your back! Now we’ll hop on the exciting part, the central recipe part of the cannabis-infused beer.
How to make cannabis beer— breaking down hemp beer recipe
Enough of blah, blah, blah! Finally, scroll down to have the cannabis beer recipe in your hand.
- ¼ ounce of decarboxylated winced cannabis
- One favorite beer bottle
- Rubber band
Step #1: Done with decarboxylation? Wrap the buds in cheesecloth.
*Cheesecloth or unused pantyhose, anything should do. Even a bandana or pillowcase would do. The idea is to wrap our bud in it and dip in beer.*
Step #2: Either make a knot or wrap the cheesecloth with a rubber band.
*Please, don’t keep it loose. You’d hate big bud particles mixing into beer. Tie up the knot so that it forms a small package that stays tight for two days.*
Step #3: Place the decarbed package in the beer bottle.
*Trust me! This demands patience. But what demands your time delivers results. So we’ll place the package for at least 48 hours. That is, don’t think of pulling it out earlier than that. It’s a sin.*
Step #4: Shake the bottle booty every 12 hours.
*shake the solution, so there’s no stagnancy in it. At least four times the entire wait period would be mighty useful for a healthy and consistent hemp beer. And yes, we’re doing this at room temperature. Get that?*
Step #5: Remove the package after 48 hours.
*If you’re wondering why I picked 48 hours, and not 72 or 24, I have a strong reason! Once the beer bottle is opened, it is drinkable for two days. Maybe after that, it gets a bit flat and grows stale. So we’re not exceeding that time. Go for this recipe only when you’ll have the beer immediately after infusion. The extra wait could waste your efforts.*
Step #6: Voila! Enjoy the hemp beer!
*Easy? Super-easy! Thank my Heisenberg brain for this recipe. Enjoy the last drop of your sweat… arrr… I mean your beer.*
Don’t throw the cannabis package— get that? You better get that!
W…wa…wait! Don’t throw that package, chap! The dude is highly organic. Organic enough to act like chemical-free humus.
Sprinkle it in your backyard as a manure, and watch those cute-little tiny hemp plants grow! Be a master of your own hemp backyard with these ultra-useful organic remnants.
Don’t gulp the entire beer bottle like you usually do
Look, hemp beer is not equal to beer! I mean… they’re the same, but not as same as you’d like to call it. A lot of things change once you dip the cannabis package in the beer, including its composition.
So no matter how a bibulous person you’re, the story is different this time around. You may have drunk ten beer bottles in a row in the past and flaunted it within your circle, but with this composition, things change.
You gotta be extra careful because this has the power of beer and thc together. Irrational pouring might get you in trouble. Drink some and see how it behaves with your body. Not gonna lie; it behaves differently with everyone.
So go slow initially! It’s natural to get impatient; afterall, we want the effect as early as possible. But it’s that recipe where you should remain extra cautious. I know it’s tempting to have the entire beer bottle in a flow, but this is not beer. This is hemp beer! Period.
Had it been cbd beer, you could have followed your arbitrary conduct.
Remember I talked about thc in the beginning? Our cannabis beer recipe has thc. But I could have gone for cbd beer too! It’s a much safer alternative that doesn’t produce a psychoactive effect.
I mean… It would be best if you have a psychoactive effect with beer, balanced by medicinal effects from cbd—no chance of overdosing, unless you drink a tanker lorry.
In case you wanna have mellow high, thc it is. And in case you wanna have a therapeutic effect, cbd beer it is. I would recommend trying both the beers. For cbd beer, we’ll first pull out the medicinal component from the bud using various extraction methods and then pour it in beer directly.
The laws around cannabis are vague. Are you careful?
Oh, I did tell you to use thc anyway. But here’s the prank, “I was not serious.” Because authorities are not serious about it either, the laws around weed are quite vague.
So there are some x,y,z laws from the federal government, then there are a,b,c, laws from the state government. And they never coincide. Result? Your marijuana habits are juggled between the two powers.
I would say, get over these vaguenesses. If the laws don’t permit you to use it, don’t! Yeah, not even when your frivolous friend asks you to do it. You’ve kids, spouses, and parents to handle. Arrr… did it get too emotional? But you get my point.
Just to inform… medical cannabis is allowed. But authorities are authorities! They’ve tried to keep its rules vague as well. Like… you can possess it but not have in public. Are you serious? And anyone can drug test you. There’s no substantial difference between cbd and thc drug test!
You might be charged with a felony even when you have cbd. The devices are not competent, and I think there’s a deliberate loophole pushed in the system so that they get to power abuse. Anyway, it’s a boring rant for me as always!
The final cheer to the hemp beer
So what did you learn of the recipe? Want me to reiterate for you?
You learned… beer + hemp = magical de-stressing and anti-anxiety potion.
You learned… the hemp beer is incomplete without the super unattractive decarboxylation process.
You learned… patience. Sorry, but you did. 2-hours of decarboxylation and 2-days of package sinking. Well, it needs patience.
You learned… using the cannabis remnant as useful manure.
You learned… the recipe, dude!
Tell me. What do you think about this “out-of-the-world experiment?” Yeah, yeah! I was kidding; it’s tough when it’s not. How do you feel having a complementing air in your bar with hemp beer?