Two things I’ve hated in my life: calculus and kneading flours. I mean… Calculus is bearable at times, but playing around flours? Well, the struggle is real. Sometimes it’s under-kneaded, sometimes it’s over-kneaded, and sometimes, God knows it. I never really managed to find the balance.
So this time around, when my mother and I were kneading the flour, I pulled what I was good at: goofing-up the dough. It was quite tight and tearing-off easily. That’s when I shouted: enough is enough. I’m not having these flour doughs anymore. They’re a pain in the neck and bring more stress, triple the work, and frustrating kitchen experience.
And then my mother mixed some minced weed in the flour, and I was like, why on earth would she do that? I knew how much she loved cannabis-infused recipes, having seen mix her favorite herb in several other recipes. But this was not acceptable.
That said, I asked, “why would you do it? Flour and weed? Well, the combination doesn’t look appropriate to me.” She said, “try it once, I’ve had it secretly. The way you’re haggling and shouting, the hemp flour would calm all that off.”
She had a point. A legit point. Hemp flours are magical!
Since then, I’m less of a crybaby. Hemp flours have successfully de-stressed my brain and controlled my antics. I don’t knead the flour in frustration anymore. In fact, the mixture is so appealing I would knead these hemp flour by choice.
So my mother had a point. These hemp flours are magical. But most importantly, they’re… so… fricking… easy… to… make!
Like cannabis oil and cannabutter, you can have replaced the call for flour in any damn recipe.
Until this point in time, I saw people use hemp oil and cannabutter to incorporate therapeutic potency in their recipes. But canna flour could be a good way around when there’s too much monotony with oil and cannabutter.
I’m sure I’ve picked some tempting chords with these words, and you want to know more about it. But don’t worry! It’s a matter of a moment, and you’ll have the sexiest recipe of your life. Let me ring the bells… The hemp flour recipe is also the easiest recipe I have ever made… of course, because of my mastermind momma legendary. The idea never struck me. Such is my brain. :/
So coming back to the recipe. Yeah! Using cannabis flour is the same as using any other flour. You can beat it down into any shape and any recipe. Do you want a delicious loaf of hemp-infused bread? Or a healthy pizza crust? Well, the cannabis-ladened flour will do a killer of a job.
That’s ten percent of the picture. Think of all the flour recipes that you’ve made all these years, rather throughout your life. Done with thinking? Great! Now replace the effing flour with hemp flour. That’s that.
Let me guess what all you thought. Muffins? Cakes? Doughs? Cookies? Great! We’re sailing on the same boat. Yes, you can use this homely-experimented twisted flour recipe in anything if you put your mind to it.
Flour + hemp = Hemp flour = Organic orgasm
Flour is already a wonderful source of vitamins, protein, carbs, and fiber. Yet I have seen people adding chemicals into these low fat and cholesterol powders.
Flours perform so well on nutritional analysis that I don’t understand the choice of adding poisonous chemicals to them. And adding chemicals for what? For boosting, ‘I don’t know what fake lies’ promoted by the newly-rose up ‘nutritional instructors’ suffering from ‘imposter syndrome.’
But anyway, that’s not a real problem. The real catch is when they have options like organic hemp, why do they go for dangerous chemicals? 2+2= two times two. Organic + Organic = two times organic. You see? Such a simple calculation!
Now you know how orgasmic the organic hemp flour can get. I’m confident you’re on the edge of your seat. So let’s unlock the madness.
I’ve divided the hemp flour recipe into two parts:
- The boring, yawn-yawn part: decarboxylation
- The easy-breezy part: the main recipe
Unfortunately, we can’t reach the fort without crossing the English channel, with many crocodiles in it. :/ Just kidding. No matter how boring decarboxylation is, we have to get it done. Okay? So we’ll cover the yawn-yawn part first. But before I get you through this hassle-tassel, I’ll clear out why we’re doing this.
Why do we have to follow the unattractive decarboxylation?
Before my mother added minced cannabis into the flour, she had heated the strain for at least 25 minutes. I mean… she could have added it directly, but she chose to heat it evenly and then mix it with the flour. I was curious why would heating the strain matter? Isn’t she wasting the bud?
You might want to do the same. Who cares about the ugly-unattractive way of decarboxylation? Isn’t it? Well, let me burst your bubble. You have to, no matter how lazy you feel! If you don’t care about it, you’ll have canna flour with no potent herb in it. It’s as good as having a flour without it.
Then I realized she was not wasting the bud. Instead, she was harnessing its complete potential. Generally, raw stalks are quite timid. You eat them, and they don’t react at all.
Yeah, like those indifferent, arrogant chaps who barely care about your existence. So you eat them thinking they’ll interact with your body, give some psychotropic euphoric rides, and you wait and wait and wait, u… n… t… i… l nothing happens. So your plans of getting high drain into the gutter.
It’s where decarboxylation helps. You heat the raw buds to activate it and bam! The blessings of marijuana fall to your feet. Usually, raw hemp has thca, the inactive acidic version of thc. Heating the buds breaks down thca into our very-own high-inducing tch.
You’ve done this in the past. Don’t believe me?
What if I said you’ve decarboxylated your weed strain in the past. I’m sure you wouldn’t believe it until you know the ins and outs of marijuana already. Remember when you pulled those weed-cigarettes with your friend Jack, the ripper? You were decarboxylating the leaves.
So when you lighted-up the pipe, the heat reached the joint and burnt it. What you eventually had was a high-giving herb. I hope things have started to make sense now. Haven’t they? Since smoking is not the only way the likes of you and I consume cannabis, we must heat our stalks differently.
Yeah, yeah! Gotcha! How do I decarboxylate?
Well, I could go on and on before we take on this topic. But since I sound a bit annoying to ya’ll, let’s take up the boring route.
Hemp flour— the yawn-yawn part— decarboxylation
- Grind the sweetie. Assuming you’ve picked your favorite weed stalk, mince her into fine granules. Grind her with full-might. Experts call pulverizing the bud, to add the elements of ‘sophistication.’ But let’s just stick to our daily language. So grinding, it is. A hand or coffee grinder, both shall do the trick on her.
- Spread the baby on the baking sheet. Remember how you put your baby to sleep? Spread her similarly on the baking sheet. Be compassionate enough to slather it properly. The baking sheet prevents her from sticking to the tray. You may avoid the sheet, but later, you may also have to avoid the weed too.
- Put the baby on the tray: If the baking sheet is the bedsheet, the tray is the bed. We’ll not put the sheet directly into the oven. Have the sheet placed on a tray, spread the sweetie so that we’ve even burned.
- Heat her in the gas chamber. No, we aren’t repeating Auschwitz. Not the gas chamber, you thought. I’m talking about the oven. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees Fahrenheit. And burn the bud down. Burn her for a good 40-45 minutes. You can increase the temperature to decarboxylate in 15-20 mins. And now, you’re done with the yawning procedure.
How to make hemp flour— the main hemp flour recipe
Fasten your seatbelts, folks! Here’s the easiest cannabis recipe you’ve ever had in your life.
- 7-10 grams of favorite decarbed weed
- A cup of all-purpose flour
- Whisk (manual or automatic)
- Storage container
Step #1: Add all-purpose flour in a bowl
*Well, you can use wheat flour if you want to go about chapatis. I’m using all-purpose flour, so we have a variety of recipes to infuse cannabis. All-purpose flour may not be as healthy as wheat flour, but then incorporating it into many other recipes becomes super easy.*
Step #2: Mix decarbed weed with the flour
*Please give time to minced cannabis for cooling down before dumping it into the bowl of flour.*
Step #3: Whisk the rascals
*Plurality never worked until forced. Unfortunately, that applies to non-living beings as flour and weed. They wouldn’t want to mingle with each other. Blend them ruthlessly. Blender or hand whisk, use anything which floats your boat*
Step #4: Whisk until the green specs are evenly distributed
*Mix-matching is an art, though it may look menial and useless. You’ve to bring consistent texture across. The green specs should evenly spread in the flour.*
Step #5: Store it in a container. Ready to rumble
*That’s it! Yes! The hemp flour is ready. Store it in a tight container until ready for use. Keep it in the dark place. Try using it within three months. That’s when it’s optimally fresh.*
Sorry I had to make you wait for this. So you dug up the mountain and found a mole? Is that what you think? Well, if you do, you’re mistaken. Every single information above was to make your understanding of cannabis very clear and concise.
The deadlock of the hemp flour
So it’s that time of a month when you’re tempted to use weed flour for a thin crust pizza. Do you simply take it out of storage and cook it the way you did with all-purpose flour? Partially yes and no!
The process is the same, except for one major change— the baking temperature. Here’s an interesting deadlock to note. I had gone through this while I was baking the pizza for my cousin’s baby shower.
“When you bake hemp flour above 350 degrees Fahrenheit, you might lose the weed’s potency. And baking pizza with hemp flour at the same temperature will result in a limping, soggy crust. The toppings will be overcooked. Good pizzas don’t come out of thin air. You literally have to walk them on a bed of fires. Hot ovens should at least click the 400°F mark. Stopping at anything less than that is a joke on pizza itself.”
So what do you want? A soggy pizza or impotent cannabis? Hey, is there not a middle-way to have it? Of course, we have it. Let’s say you’ve heated pizza at 450 degrees, and cannabis has disappeared. You have two ways to go:
- Either you have it the way it is.
- Or we prepare weed oreganos and chili flakes. :p
Well, yes!!! You need not waste a single ounce of cannabis on pizza crust. I will cover weed oreganos and chili flakes in the near-future. You can definitely have the potency + fun together.
Hold your friggin ‘horses. Go slow!
I know… I know… It’s so natural to gulp a weed recipe at one go. But don’t behave as a quick brown fox jumped over a lazy flour. It won’t help! You may think eating more would give you early relaxation and ease you of your restlessness. But the move might backfire.
Usually, weed recipes, not just weed flour, but any weed recipe takes time to interact with your body. Your body is not equal to mine. You gotta hold your horses until the recipe starts engaging with your body, psychedelically.
You never know how good your body tolerates weed initially. It’s an exploratory concern. So start with small dosing, wait for the dude to react, and observe how he behaves. If he doesn’t hit your brain, modulate the quantity.
And be extra cautious while having the likes of muffins and cakes and cookies. Your glutton-self would want to have a lot many at one go. But you don’t want to wake up dizzy tomorrow. Canna flour is about taking it in a calculated manner. Is that clear? Great!
We could have avoided side-effects had we made cbd flour.
You know that weed stalks majorly come in two variants: cbd-dominant strain and thc-dominant strain. We have focused more on the thc-dominant strain, the little naughtier, and the jauntier component of cannabis.
You can’t take it as you wish. I mean… you can, but you can’t have it mindlessly. That would snatch your cognitive abilities for a moment, give automotive problems, and impair limb-eye coordination. You don’t want to get into all these messes. Do you? That’s why I request you to refer to the above point “hold your horses.”
But had we used cbd to prepare our flour; it would have been great for therapeutic benefits. Unlike thc, you can’t overdose on cbd. So even if you want to feel the realms of side-effects, you can’t. There’s a very little study that supports the side-impacts of cbd. Chances are very low; you’d feel sleepy over-consuming the medicinal herb. Otherwise, it’s safe.
Uhhh!! Only the law of your land knows…
I’m not guaranteeing you’ll have the best herb flour of your life. Not that it has any problem with taste, but the law. A hemp recipe can never be too bad, only too restricted.
Only the law of your land will decide if you have canna flour. The laws are sometimes funny things, especially when they’re about treating our favorite herb. It’s hard to believe the federal government considers it legal, and some state government calls for capital punishment if caught.
Isn’t it too contradictory? So it’s like… you’re not a criminal in the federal government’s eyes, but a threat to society to the state government. Shouldn’t we clap for such classy thought-fully driven laws?
Well, the crux of the message is: stay watchful. You may not want to break up any law and disobey the rule structures of the system. Read more about them before jumping onto the recipe.
Time to say goodbye, canna-heads
I hope this piece has helped you with learning my story. Just kidding! I hope it did solve important concepts of cannabis flour and how to go about it. I would love to know if I missed something.
Any vital information, any piece that you know could help the quality of the flour. Your feedback is valuable to us, as much as cannabis is valuable to you. For more exciting recipes, you know where to hit? Don’t you?